Motherhood is gross

Okay, we all know it's not gross all of the time. But there are definitely moments of yuck that ALL mothers have in common. In honor of the upcoming special day for mamas, I want to share my list of all time grossest yucks that I have experienced in my 8 1/2 years of mommy hood.

:: Poop. We all have to deal with it. It's always funny to me that before I became a mom, I NEVER would have discussed poop with anyone. But enter the child, and like milliseconds later, I am discussing her bowel movements with anyone who will lend me an ear. Also, I have been changing poopy bums for 8 1/2 years! Yes, it's true. Because of Jake's disability, he sometimes has a problem that mom needs to help with. 8 years of poop people! Now that's gross.

:: Puke. There is nothing like being puked on. Nothing. But also, I feel comfortable in discussing this subject because every mother has endured it. The worst puke that I have had to endure happened after Josh ate 4 pieces of pizza when he was 3 years old. I know. Seriously deserve Mom of the Year award for that one huh? Let me tell you, pizza puke in the carpet is NO GOOD.

:: Snotty noses. What? You don't like wiping that snot that is hanging down so low on your child's lip that they are licking it? Yeah. Me either. Again, before I was a mom, I wanted NOTHING to do with wiping bodily fluids off a child's face. But again, enter the child, and not only are you wiping enough snot to fill Black Rock Reservoir, but your shirt also becomes the best Kleenex there is.

:: Food messes. Specifically Spaghetti food messes. Oh, and when your 18 month old decides to smear it on every possible surface within his reach, it's even better! Rice is also fun. You can play hide and seek with those thrown rice bits for days.

:: Kids' messes in general. It still fathoms me just how quickly a kid can create a total disaster. When Jake was a baby, he and I had endured a particularly rough night together, and I was EXHAUSTED. I had JUST gotten Jake back to sleep when Hannah and Josh woke up and were ready for the day at a too bright and too early 6am on a summer's morning. So being the ultra responsible mother that I am, I put them in front of the TV and tried to go back to sleep for a little while until Jake woke up. Needless to say, Jake woke up only 30 minutes later. I got him out of bed, and thought to myself how quiet and good the kids were being. But as soon as I walked into the family room, I changed my mind! I walked in to find the two of them with a freshly opened HUGE bag of Malt-O-Meal Rice Krispies. But they were NOT eating them. They had spread the entire bag of fake Rice Krispies ALL OVER the floor and were "raking" them into the floor and the couch with plastic baseball bats. Thank goodness they had not decided to add the milk to their cereal! I was mad, but not at them. I had left them to their own bidding, and I paid the price.

:: Water. Kids love water. Too much. Enough said.


I know there are many other messy aspects to mothering, but I can't think of any more right now. Being a mom is a messy job, but some one's gotta do it, and who better than mom? So, mad props to all you moms who deal with messes everyday and still live to tell the tale. (And so do your children.)