To my Jakey

Dear Jacob,

Four years ago today, you were born. I can't believe how fast the time has flown from those first days that you spent in the NICU of Children's Hospital in Seattle. Before you were born, your Grandpa Harker told me that he thought you had chosen this body even though it was broken. He said that your spirit was strong, and that all you wanted was your chance to come to this earth. When he said those words, somehow I already knew that they were true. Even when you were inside of me, I could feel how strong you were. Though your little legs couldn't kick to tell me that you were doing okay inside there, I knew you were a tough little spirit, and that you were alright.

You were born at 10:16am at UW Hospital in Seattle, and I think all of Seattle must have heard because we couldn't believe how loud your cry was! The doctors took you away pretty quickly to prep you for your surgery, so I didn't get to see you for an hour or so. When they finally brought you to me, I couldn't even hold you because you were inside a little incubator of sorts and no one could touch you for risk of infection. I hoped that you could hear me and feel my love for you as you were taken away from me to go over to Children's. Your dad went with you, and stayed there until late that evening when he finally came over to UW to tell me that your surgery to close up your back was a success. I can't tell you how relieved I was to hear that you were strong and fighting to be here.

You spent the first 10 days of your life at Children's and from the very beginning, you showed the doctors that no matter what expectation they placed upon you, that you were going to meet it, and even surpass their limitations for you. It took you until a few days after your surgery before you were ready to nurse for the first time. The first time I held you in my arms, I was so afraid. You were so tiny, only 5 lbs 10 oz, and you had several wires and tubes in your little body, I was scared that I would break you. But the moment, that you realized that you could nurse, you went at it like a champ. Let me tell you buddy, that was truly one of the best moments of my life.

We brought you home on a Saturday, and were greeted by your brother and sister, who already loved and adored you. You were such a good baby. You didn't cry much, and you slept so beautifully right from the start. When you were 3 weeks old, we took you back up to Children's for another surgery. This time, the doctors needed to put a shunt in your tiny head to relieve the pressure on your brain. Once again, you bounced back from this surgery, and were able to go home within 3 days! Only a few weeks later, you needed yet another surgery to take care of a double hernia in your belly. In and out in just a few hours and you were as good as new.

Even with all of the difficult things that your body had been put through, you progressed more normally than we expected. The doctors had told us that we should never expect you to do anything more than rolling over, and maybe sitting up on your own. We were shocked when you began trying to roll over at 4 or 5 months, and even more surprised when you began sitting up by yourself just a few months later. Of course all of your physical milestones came later than other children, but you were passing these milestones, and each time we were floored at your determination! You began crawling around the age of 1, and from then on, there was no stopping you! Not even the 10 pound full leg casts that you wore for 3 months when you were 18 months old could slow you down! You began using your walker when you were about 2, and loved the feeling of finally being big. You would chase me and say "I'm donna det you!" over and over. If you wanted to do something, you just did it. This is how you have always been, and I've loved being able to see your accomplishments every day.


You are smart, loving, handsome, determined, and the happiest little guy to be around. We butt heads sometimes, but that's only because you have that darn strong will! Even though it sometimes drives me crazy, I'm so glad that you have that tough spirit inside you because I know that it will serve you well throughout your life. Jacob, I truly believe that when you were sent to our family, that we needed you much more than you ever needed us. You have brought absolute joy and happiness to our home. You have taught me so much about unconditional love, patience, hard work, and perseverance. I thank the Lord every single day that I am blessed to be your mother. I hope that you have a truly special birthday and know that you are so loved.

Love,
Mommy