Motherhood. I love it. But man, does it have it's days. Does it ever.
Life took some adjusting once the little babe arrived 3 months ago. For all of us. Mom had to adjust to little or no sleep again, after having several years of blissful slumber. She also had to learn to be a mother to a newborn all over again. Who knew you could actually forget how to change a newborns diaper? It's true.
Dad. Dad took over for mom in lots of ways while she was busy feeding the baby, burping the baby, putting baby to sleep, etc. He really stepped in and helped out with the other kids in so many unexpected ways. He didn't need much adjusting. He was awesome.
But the kids. Oh, the kids. They adjusted to this life change in ways that I expected and in some that were very unexpected and very unwelcome. The fighting. Oh, the fighting. It's amazing how kids totally know that the best time to fight is when mom is busy nursing a baby. Scratch that. Kids know that the best time to make any sort of trouble is when mom is busy nursing a baby.
For months, I felt like life was just spinning out of control. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. I felt like I was living in chaos. I was exhausted. I was certainly not patient. I wasn't spending the time with my children that they were begging for (whether verbally or through their actions). And I definitely was not taking time for myself to fill my own lamp. Bedtime came, and the thought of spending time in my scriptures was the last thing on my mind. For the first time in my life, I really felt depressed. I felt alone. To say that I was living on a wing and a prayer would be about right.
We had some kinks to iron out, but I'm happy to report that after 3 months, life is feeling more normal again. I decided to wait it out, and see if time would help with the way I was feeling. I'm happy to say that it did, and I'm feeling much better these days.
My sweet children are feeling more like my sweet children again. That is a very welcome change. And through it all, they love and adore this little rolly bundle that we call our babe. Now that Eva is thriving on a routine, I'm able to spend the time that I desperately need to feel happy. Scriptures have become a priority again, as well as taking better care of myself.
Life is a blessing. Through the ups and the downs, there is always good to see, and I'm so thankful for that. I've learned a lot during these past months. About my new baby, my children, and myself. Once again, I'm reminded that life is good.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
On a wing and a prayer.
Posted by tharker at 2:50 PM
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14 Thoughts:
Those kinks always come at the most inopportune times. Glad you are so trusty with your iron. You are the best.
Ditto. Your line about the kids fighting while you're feeding the baby is so true. That is the time anything inconvenient happens - somone knocks on the front door, the phone rings, Morgan needs help in the bathroom, the kids want a snack, the kids are beating each other up etc....Glad you are doing and feeling better. It can seem pretty overwhelming sometimes.
I can't imagine the transitions, but you have done a great job! And you are a fabulous Mom! Can't wait to meet this babe.
I'm so glad you're feeling more like your normal self. These adjustments are always so hard but you've handled it well. You are a wonderful mother.
My baby is eight months old, and I have been feeling this way for the last few months too. I was thinking it was the wintertime/cabin fever stuff that was getting me down, but I so relate to what you are saying, so I am not sure what it is. But last week I went to the temple for the first time in a while and I have more diligent about reading doctrine and taking time for myself, and it has made a world of difference. Today was a rough one, but I am glad to say that there have been more good days than bad lately.
I am so happy to hear that things are becoming a little more normal at your house too. I hope it continues. Loves!
You are a awesome mom! I had to laugh about the diaper part, you are right you really do forget. I am glad you are starting to feel back to your old self. You have a beautiful family!
So it's good to know that you forget how to change a new born diaper. That was one thing I thought I wouldn't have forgotten. I'll add that to my list of things to review ;).
I'm glad to hear your back on track after only three months. So there's hope then.
Good for you for just holding on. I'll try to keep that in mind in two months.
Those first few months adjusting to a newborn are always a little tough.
I am so glad to read that you are finding a peaceful balance in your life again.
:)
That was very beautifully put, Tiffani. You are a great mother and example to all of us. Thank you.
The adjustment period is always hard. I am glad that you are making it through it, and feeling more "normal"(whatever that is).
I wish I could have talked to you too on Sunday but Peter was home sick and I just wanted to get my kids home. Call me some time.
i am glad things are getting back in balance- I think having a baby always throws life into a bit of tailspin and it just takes time, remembering the important things that get us back on track.
those first few upside down months of new babe are rough. and to sort them out in the drab of winter is double the fun. you are an amazing mother, eva is beautiful, spring is just around the corner... and so am i. bundle up that babe and come visit! love, lindsay
I. hear. ya. So glad you are feeling better. You are amazing!
I still have weeks when I feel out of control. Colby is sick again, by the way. The worst is not being able to make him better quickly.
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